Once Upon-a... Memo


My mate always seemed entirely befuddled when there would be those few days each month that I suddenly morphed into Godzilla. It all made sense once he figured out what was going on (slap on the forehead!) but most of the time he was just blindsided. 

I guess I wanted to make it easier for him and one time, in the early days, wrote him a little reminder. I'd forgotten all about it until I uncovered it recently buried on my computer. With a few minor tweaks, I'm thinking it'd still be pretty handy...

MEMORANDUM

Date: January 1
Re: Pre-Menstrual Nuclear Meltdown
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Please be advised that the next meltdown is scheduled to take place on or about January 31. While the issue slate has not yet been formalized, as per the usual, points of "discussion" will most likely stem from some area of fear (real or imagined, proportionate or disproportionate) as well as anything having to do with traffic in LA.

As a heads up, please also be advised that upcoming meltdowns might even begin to incorporate previously unheard of and until recently irrelevant and utterly frowned upon hormonal slurs such as "Do I look fat?" and "My clock is ticking."

As always, we sincerely apologize for the meltdowns, especially for those of which you did not receive a memo and therefore were not prepared. We hope this memo will help ensure your readiness for future meltdowns, and additionally, we welcome any suggestions you might have in order that each meltdown runs as smoothly, effectively, and quickly as possible.

You are a fine representative of your team, and we salute you. See you at the end of the month!
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